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THE CITY REBORN FROM THE ASHES OF AMERICA'S MOST DISASTROUS FOREST FIRE
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Country Cousin

Issue Date: March 28, 2019

Joke on April 1, Vote on April 2!

With Spring now officially a week old, many of us are getting impatient for warmer weather, but we should be grateful that days continue to be quite lovely for late winter, while night time temperatures fall below freezing. Keeps the sap flowing in maple groves, and helps prevent some of the disastrous flooding that's been happening in other parts of the state.

Nevertheless, can't help being just a little bit jealous of a cousin in the Milwaukee area, who says they've been busy raking their yard and watching tulips and daffodils start poking their little green heads up in the flower beds. In most parts of our yard, we'd need to shovel the snow away before we could rake, and in the parts where the snow is gone we'd be raking up mud.

That said, lets pray that spring continues to come on slowly, because if it does, the floods hopefully will not come on at all.

APRIL FOOL!

If you haven't thought up any April Fool pranks yet, better get with it. The day for pranking comes on Monday.

Some non-damaging pranks to pull on kids (or even their parents might include:

FROZEN BREAKFAST - The night before, pour a bowl of cereal and put it in the freezer. The next morning serve it to your kids as breakfast and watch their confused faces as they try to eat it. You can also pour some gelatin in their juice cup the night before and giggle as they try to drink.

CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES - Mix mashed potatoes with an egg, well beaten, a few drops of yellow food coloring, and enough well drained black beans to mix in so it looks like they're chocolate chips. Shape into cookie shapes on a baking sheet sprayed with buttery flavored cooking oil and bake 10 minutes at 350 degrees. The kids will be surprised, but the "cookies" don't taste bad, and are in fact still very edible.

SPILLED MILK - cookie sheet, parchment paper, and school glue. The night before, on the parchment paper make an outline with the glue that looks like a milk spill. Let it dry over night. When you're ready to prank, get a glass of milk, drink the milk and then put the glass and the glue "spill" on the victim's cell phone, laptop or tablet and let out a yell...maybe shout, "I'm sorry...I'm sorry!" Watch them scream, then snatch up the spill before they hit you.

CHEESY ORANGE JUICE - Fill a clean half gallon plastic jug that used to contain orange juice almost to the top with water. Take the cheese packet from a box of macaroni and cheese and use a funnel to pour it into the water-filled container. Shake well. It looks like orange juice. Chill in the fridge over night and offer them a glass of the refreshing "juice" in the morning.

These are simple and fairly harmless pranks, but over the years there have been a number of elaborate history making pranks that are still being talked about today.

One of the most famous, and most elaborate, unless I've been pranked by the "hoaxes" website, was the eruption pulled on residents of Sitka, Alaska by a local practical joker named Porky Bickar. On April 1, 1974, Bickar and some friends had flown 70 old tires over the crater of long dormant Mount Edgecumbe, and dropped them in. They also dropped in some then lit them on fire, all in a successful attempt to fool the city dwellers into believing that the volcano was stirring to life. When the city woke up on April 1, clouds of black smoke were rising from the crater. the Coast Guard was called, and the chopper pilot sent to investigate saw the tires piled there burning. And spray painted in the snow alongside the volcano, in spray-painted 50-foot high black letters, were the words "April Fool!"

According to local legend, when Mount St. Helens erupted six years later, a Sitka resident wrote to Bickar to tell him, "This time you've gone too far!"

SPRING THINGS

While the weather is improving, it's not nice enough yet to do much playing outdoors. Since the season for winter sports appears to be over, we need indoor things to do.

Spend a fun day at the 37th annual annual St. Thomas Aquinas fund raising auction from11:30 a.m. to 6 p.m. Sunday, March 31. There will be live and silent auctions, international foods, the famous pie booth, a delectable food pantry, and a chance to win the first prize of $1,000 in the raffle to support the tuition assistance fund. This is a fun-filled family event, not just for those who want to bid on the fantastic prizes being put up for auction. Site is the St. Thomas Aquinas Academy Gym at 1200 Main Street, Marinette.

Then, from 6 to 8 p.m. on Thursday, April 4, Sip for a Cause at the Crivitz Area Food Pantry's Wine Tasting party on Hwy. 141 in Crivitz. In addition to the wine, which is provided by Forgotten Fire Winery of Peshtigo, there will be a quilt show, raffles and appetizers. Must be 21to attend. All proceeds to benefit the Crivitz Food Pantry. Pre-event tickets are $25, admission at the door is $30. To purchase pre-event tickets call Cheryl Baranek at 715-927-0217 or Kim Labinsky-Baye at 920-883-0522.

TURKEY HUNT

Adults and kids over age 10 who want to hunt wild turkeys but aren't quite sure how to go about it are invited to the Lake Noquebay Sportsmen's Club 6th annual Learn To Hunt Turkey Day from 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. on Sunday, March 31, to be followed by a mentored hunt with an experienced Sportsman's Club member on the weekend of April 6 and 7. The March 31 class day will be at the clubhouse located on County X and Maple Beach Road in Middle Inlet. The event is free and the day includes a meal. Even tags are provided free of charge. Then, after the weekend hunt, all participants will get together to enjoy another free meal, share stories and learn how to take care of a harvested bird. To sign up, contact Aaron McCullough at highfallsNWTF@gmail.com or call 715-927-2257. Do it soon because space is limited.

VOTE ON TUESDAY, APRIL 2

Don't forget to vote on Tuesday, April 2. There aren't many contests on the ballot, but the statewide race for Supreme Court is vitally important, and in scattered parts of Marinette and Oconto counties there are some interesting contests for local offices.

As to the Supreme Court race, one can only hope that all the justices on our state's top court will remember their pledge to uphold the Constitutions (state and national) and base their decisions on laws as they are written, and not on what they wish the law would be.

As noted, we get to vote on April 2. With all the complaints we've been hearing recently about voter fraud (in other parts of this nation, not here in TIMESland) it would have been quite appropriate for the elections to fall on April 1, and sometimes that happens. Then the ballot counters could shout, "April Fool!" when they announced results, and we wouldn't know if they were joking or not.

ON THE SOAP BOX

The Mueller report is finally out. The 2-year investigation did not manage to find that President Donald Trump had committed any crime, so now liberals all over the land are now doubting it's accuracy. Their quest for a crime to pin on President Donald Trump continues to be unsuccessful, and like the spoiled children most of them are, they can't take "no" for an answer. They will just keep throwing tantrums until they get their way. way.

The mainstream press, meanwhile, continues to distort the news. Sometimes they outright lie, and other times they just fail to tell the truth, or imply things that simply are not true without quite saying they are. Those kinds of distortions are hard to combat, much like the courtroom attorney who insists on a "yes" or "no" answer after asking, "Have you quit beating your wife?"

In the case of the Mueller investigation, Attorney General William Barr explained that Mueller's team didn't find evidence that the president colluded with Russia during the 2016 presidential election.

However, several mainstream news stories had to point out that Mueller's report didn't say whether President Trump had obstructed justice during the investigation, but Barr concluded that Mueller's evidence was "not sufficient to establish that the president committed an obstruction-of-justice offense."

They did not bother to point out that juries do not return with findings of "innocent". They return with findings of "not guilty," and "not guilty" is what the investigation found in the case of President Donald Trump.

Then they criticize Trump's daughter Ivanka, for quoting President Abraham Lincoln: "Truth is generally the best vindication against slander."

Then some of them criticized the Trumps as being "fixated" with Lincoln lately. Well, why not? They are Republicans, and Honest Abe was one of those who helped create the Republican Party and the first president it ever elected.

They say Ivanka Trump should not quote Lincoln, but it's quite OK for them to quote unprincipled and openly immoral Hollywood celebrities as though they were the experts on law and politics in this land! What a pathetic joke our once respected news sources have become, and what a pathetic joke they are trying to make of this great nation!

By the way, Gov. Mike Huckabe commented on Fox News that the Democratic Party has announced plans to hold its next national convention in Milwaukee. Said it would have been more fitting for them to meet in Caracas or Havana and show us how great socialism is working there.

He then could have quoted the late, great President Ronald Reagan: "Socialism only works in two places: Heaven where they don't need it and hell where they already have it."

Amen to that!

COOKIN' TIME

Lots of folks who adhere to Lenten abstinence rules eat a lot of fish and seafood during this season. Supposed to be a sacrifice, but with some of the great foods available, it certainly doesn't have to be.

BUTTERY GARLIC SHRIMP

Takes 15 minutes, start to finish, if you buy the shrimp already peeled and deveined. Cook in a large skillet over medium heat. If you can't fit all the shrimp in a single layer in your skillet, work in batches to make sure everything cooks evenly. If you have no Chardonnay wine, use water or chicken broth instead. Better yet, buy a cheap bottle of wine, and serve the rest of the bottle with the meal.

2 tbsp. butter, divided

1 tbsp. extra-virgin olive oil

1 lb. medium shrimp, peeled and deveined

1 lemon, thinly sliced, plus juice of 1 lemon

3 cloves garlic, minced

1 tsp. crushed red pepper flakes

Salt

2 tbsp. dry white wine (or water)

Freshly chopped parsley, for garnish

In a large skillet over medium heat, melt 1 tablespoon butter and olive oil. Add shrimp, lemon slices, garlic, and crushed red pepper flakes, and season with salt. Cook, stirring occasionally, until shrimp is pink and opaque, about 3 minutes per side. Remove from heat and stir in remaining butter, lemon juice, and white wine. Season with salt and garnish with parsley before serving.

SIMPLE CRAB BISQUE

Makes a great lunch with a grilled cheese sandwich, or even a peanut butter sandwich!

1 tablespoon butter

1 can condensed cream of tomato soup

1 can condensed cream of mushroom soup

1 1/4 cups milk

1 1/4 cups imitation crab meat, cut into chunks

Pinch curry powder

Salt and white pepper to taste

Melt butter in the saucepan, then stir in the soups, milk and curry powder and heat until simmering, but not boiling. Stir in the crab meat, then taste and add salt and pepper if needed.

CREAMY CRAB CHOWDER

You could boil about a cup and a half of diced potatoes and add to this if you don't want to use canned potatoes, or use leftover cooked potatoes if you have some of those. This is a meal all by itself, especially if you serve it with plain or cheesy breadsticks or cornmeal muffins.

1/2 pound sliced fresh mushrooms

1/2 cup chopped celery

1/2 cup chopped onion

1/4 cup butter, cubed

1/4 cup all-purpose flour

2 cups milk

2 cans (6 ounces each) crabmeat, drained, flaked and cartilage removed

1 can (14-1/2 ounces) vegetable broth

1 can (14-1/2 ounces) whole potatoes, drained and cut into 1/2-inch cubes

1 cup frozen corn, thawed

1 teaspoon salt

1/2 teaspoon dill weed

1/2 teaspoon pepper

2 tablespoons sherry (or any white wine, apple cider vinegar, or lemon juice)

In a Dutch oven, sauté the mushrooms, celery and onion in butter until tender. Stir in flour until blended; gradually add milk. Bring to a boil; cook and stir for 2 minutes or until thickened."Add the crab, broth, potatoes, corn, salt, dill and pepper. Reduce heat; cover and simmer for 10 minutes or until heated through. Stir in sherry.

SALTED CARAMEL APPLE HAND PIES

This wonderful dough is something of a cross between puff pastry and regular pie crust. To be sure the apples cook through in the 15-minute baking time, cut them into really, really small pieces, about as big as a kernel of corn, or chop them coarsely in the food processor. These are wonderful eaten warm or cold, with a plate or without, and with ice cream or without. Once summer gets here, they'd be really great to take on a picnic.

FOR THE DOUGH:

2 cups all-purpose flour

1/2 teaspoon salt

1/2 teaspoon baking powder

1 cup (2 sticks) cold unsalted butter, cut into cubes

1/2 cup cold sour cream

FOR THE FILLING:

2 cups apples, peeled and finely diced

2 teaspoons fresh lemon juice

1/2 teaspoon cinnamon

1/4 cup sugar

2 teaspoons all-purpose flour

8 store-bought soft caramels, roughly chopped

FINISHING TOUCHES:

Egg wash (1 egg lightly whisked with 1 Tablespoon water)

Large flake sea salt, or regular salt if you must

Colored sugar sprinkles

For the dough, whisk together the flour, salt and baking powder in a large bowl. Add the cubed butter and use fingers or a pastry blender to work the butter into the flour until the mixture is the consistency of wet sand. Stir in the sour cream (the dough will be very wet). Then turn the dough out onto a well-floured work surface. Knead the dough a few times until it comes together, adding more flour, 1 teaspoon at a time, if the dough is too sticky to handle. Roll the dough into an 8x10-inch rectangle and dust both sides with flour before folding it into thirds as if you were folding a letter. Rotate the dough 90 and roll it out again into an 8x10-inch rectangle. Fold the dough again into thirds then wrap it securely in plastic wrap and refrigerate it for at least 30 minutes while you make the filling. Combine the apples, lemon juice, cinnamon, sugar and flour in a small bowl, stirring until thoroughly mixed. Set aside. When it's time to assemble the pies, preheat oven to 425 degrees. Remove the dough from the fridge and unfold it onto a well-floured surface, rolling it out to a 14x14-inch square. With a 3-inch circular cookie cutter or cup, cut out as many circles as possible. Re-roll the scraps and continue cutting out circles to use up the dough, making sure you end up with an even number of circles. There should be enough for 20 circles, which will make 10 little pies. Place six of the dough circles on a parchment paper-lined cookie sheet and spoon about a tenth of filling into the center of each, leaving enough of a border around the filling to seal the shell. Top the apple filling with a portion of the chopped caramels and a pinch of salt. Place a second dough circle over each filled circle then use a fork to crimp the edges together, sealing each pie. Brush each pie with the egg wash, and using a sharp knife, cut two or three vents on the top of each pie. Sprinkle the pies with colored sugar or very lightly with large flake salt (optional). Bake that sheet of the pies for about 15 minutes, or until they're golden brown, and while that bakes get the remaining four little pies ready to go into the oven when the first six re done baking. After baking, be sure to let the pies rest for at least 10 minutes before serving. Repeat the filling and baking process with the remaining dough circles. Note: If you want to use the large flake salt and can't find any, check the liquor section for margarita salt.

The Country Cousin

Thought for the week:
Lord, help us to not pass up an opportunity to do good when the occasion arises. Am reminded of a story told by Sister Mary Rose McGeady of Covenant House, is Chicken Soup for the Christian soul: Sister Rose said the person was angry when she saw a small, pathetically thin little girl, homeless, shivering, and in need of warmer clothing. "Lord, why do you permit this?" She demanded. "Why don't you do something about it!" For a while God said nothing, but then He sent the answer: "I did something about it. I made you." Lord, during this Lenten season especially, help me look into myself and at those around me. Help me to be the answer, to know when and how to do what You created me to do. Amen.

(This column is written by Shirley Prudhomme of Crivitz. Views expressed are her own and are in no way intended to be an official statement of the opinions of Peshtigo Times editors and publishers. She may be contacted by phone at 715-291-9002 or by e-mail to shirleyprudhommechickadee@yahoo.com.)


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