From My Window

Issue Date: December 3, 2021

Jane Thibodeau Martin

Schooled in Gratitude

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Last week was Thanksgiving, and of course I observed the formal day of thanks. But I try to practice gratitude every day. Identifying things I am grateful for is fundamental to my happiness. I am much better at this now than I used to be; my yoga instructors have helped me be more disciplined about it. But I am still schooled by masters of the art of gratitude from time to time. That, in itself, is something to be grateful for.

I have a lengthy list of people I pray for every evening. I write to several of these people, not for the purpose of receiving a reply, but more to let them know I am thinking of them. It is less intrusive than a phone call, in some ways it is a gentler way of reaching out. It waits until someone has time to read, or feels up to it, instead of demanding an instant response. I do not ask for updates, or ask anything at all, I just let them know I think of and pray for them.

Recently I heard from one of those people. It was a thoughtful, lengthy update; it moved me to tears.

Mike and I have known this person and their spouse a very long time. They are walking, as a couple, on the road that cancer has set before them. No one chooses this trip; it is forced on people. This couple is beloved by many; it is because of who and what they are, and the way they have chosen to live their lives. They do many good works in the community, are hardworking and kind, and I can't recall hearing a single instance of them gossiping or badmouthing anyone else. They have raised good children to adulthood, and treasure and nurture their grandchildren.

In short, you can't help thinking "how unfair that this has happened."

First in the communication were some observations on some of my family members; positive and warm. Always others before themselves. I was asked to pass along their greetings to several people ?? it seems they know absolutely everyone and never forget connections.

Then an update on the illness. No new tumors, we are so thankful. The meds are doing their job, so several more years of the meds. "I can do this." "Thank you for being one of my prayer warriors." Gratitude. "I am having better evenings." Finding the good. "I feel gratefulness and humility we get to enjoy this holiday season again." It moved me very deeply, and I could see it impacted Mike and our two kids who were here for the holiday when I shared it; all of us know them; all of us touched by these expressions of their strong spirit.

They are a devoted couple ?? and they share the burden of this challenge equally. "And the two shall become one"�" says the marriage vows; so the illness of one is shared with the other in almost every way.

I believe their faith makes a difference. I believe their strong, large support system is also making a difference. But it is their ability to find the good, and be deeply, honestly grateful for it, that astonishes me.

After absorbing this lesson I find it impossible to fret over some of the nonsense that confronts all of us every day. So many insignificant things clamor for our attention; so very few of them deserve it.

Thank you, old friends, for showing me so eloquently what real courage looks like. Thank you for this master class in grace.

You can reach me for commentary, alternative viewpoints or ideas at this e-mail address: JanieTMartin@gmail.com.

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